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Friday, January 11, 2013

Most Disliked Month of the Year

January. . . . .the one month I really want to end as soon as it starts. Why? All the most important people in my life died in January. First, my dad, who died January 23, 1967. I can no longer remember the exact date and had to look it up. But the year is easy to remember since I was 3 months pregnant with my third and last child. He had a heart attack as he was coming in the door at home, dying instantly. My mother found him in the door of the breezeway. Dad was 60 years old.

One year later, my father-in-law died. That was January 20 I think. The way I remember is that his funeral was on the anniversary of my dad's death. But I have to admit, I am not certain if I have the date correct. That was in 1968. He was 55 years old. He had a badly diseased heart and the doctors said at that time the only thing that would save him would be a heart transplant. But doctors had not achieved that type of transplant at that time.

Three years later, January 16, 1971, my mother died of cancer at age 62. It had started in a muscle of her thigh and metastasized and eventually was in the brain, affecting her language memory. She knew what things were if you said the name, but she wasn't able to say the word. She called my kids by names of long-time family friends. She ended up having a stroke and in a coma for about a week before passing.

I was 24 when my dad died, and 28 when Mom died. I have no brothers or sisters so the whole load was on me. I did have a husband and 3 kids by then which probably saved my sanity to some extent, though in the year after my mother died and while I was handling the estate, my husband decided to have an affair with his boss's wife. I could go into a long story about that, but that is not the purpose of this post.

The last January death was my second husband who passed away on January 12, 2005 from pancreatic cancer. He was 86 years old. Yes, he was 24 years older than me. We were married 15 happy years, much happier than the 26 years I was married to my first husband and father of my kids.

My former mother-in-law didn't quite make it to January. She died in late December a few years ago and she was in her 80s.

Now I am curious how many of my ancestors died in January. I did find that a great-grandmother died January 20, 1919, one 5 generations back died January 11, 1825, one 8 generations back died January 24, 1725. Those are all on my dad's side. I didn't find any on my mother's side, but my records are very limited.

So you can see that I might greet each January wondering who in my life will die this time.

It is also usually one of the dreariest months here in Iowa, some years hardly seeing the sun all month, many years having a week of below zero temps for highs, and a snow storm or two. Days are short as well, though they do start getting a little longer this month, and we know spring will get here eventually. I really don't allow myself to dwell on it otherwise I could get deeply depressed. Too many years have gone by now to allow that to happen. But it does remind me that life is short. I have lived beyond the years that  my parents did for which I am very thankful. Thanks be to God!

3 comments:

  1. Hi Lorita!!! I WAS so happy to hear from you and find out your are ok!! Another connection for us!!! I hate Jan too!!! I enjoy Dec with all the Christams stuff out and and they pretty Christmas lights on homes. I read somewhere there is a small town out west that has asked everyone who had christmas lights on their homes to leave them on thru Feb. What a great idea!! IF we are going to have to live thru dark winters in Iowa and Indiana I am all for leaving the Christmas light on thru Feb!! It would make me smile!!
    I wish we lived closer!! I would LOVE to learn to crochet. I need a hobby for sure!! Is it really hard to learn? I think there is a knitting store here in Ft Wayne that offers classes. How long does it take to catch on to crotcheing?
    I hope to hear back from you and so relieved to know your doing ok!!! :)

    Mary jane

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    1. Mary Jane, I hope you see this, as I am really tardy in answering your question about learning to crochet. It is really hard to say if it would be hard to learn. Some people pick it up quickly, and others never quite get the hang of it. It was easy for me. My mother crocheted so I learned from her in spite of the fact that she was right handed and I am left handed. My things are just done in reverse. I also can follow written directions and diagrams well, so learned many stitches from a "Learn to Crochet" book. The same for knitting, which I learned mostly by the book. My mother did not knit but I had an aunt who did, and when I couldn't get something I could ask her.

      My dad actually did a little crocheting, but without a hook. He would make a loop and pull the yarn through the loop and keep making a chain. That is all I remember though.

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  2. For me it is December since both of my parents died in December.

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