THAT'S MY STORY AND I'M STICKING TO IT

Everybody has a story. Many years ago, if I had been asked to tell my story, I would say that I didn't have one. There was nothing out of the ordinary in my life, or so I thought. Or I wasn't willing to tell my story when my marriage was in big trouble. I didn't want anyone to know what was happening behind closed doors. I pretended my life was good. I didn't want anyone to know that my husband had had an affair and was going to leave us. We all have secrets. Now, as you can probably tell, I am an open book. I have shown you some of my dirty secrets here. I mean real dirt. You saw my cluttered pantry. Then I showed you my clean and organized pantry. And now it needs to be done again, as well as all my other closets.

On one of Joyce Meyers programs she talked about when we have tough life problems and how we handle them. And we all have times like that. She told a story of parents with a lovely little boy who was so delightful and smart and showed videos of his story. Then he became sick with a genetic disease that destroys the nerves of the central nervous system. It was devastating. He soon lost his ability to walk well, and then couldn't walk at all. Later he lost his eyesight. I don't remember the age of the boy, but he was little. I would say he was between 3 and 5 years old. How frightening that had to be for him. It was tough. And it was hard on his parents.

As I was thinking about things Joyce had said, I thought about my story. I decided that I must have been meant to be alone.

First, I am an only child. Yes, I did have my parents, and childhood friends, but that is not the same as having siblings. Life is very different as an only child, some good, some not so good.

Then I got married when I was still 18, and had 3 babies within 5 years. Now I am no longer alone, but whew! I sure didn't know how to deal with kids and the problems they bring to the mix.

And then my parents died when I was 24 and 28 years old. And I have three kids that I need advice about bringing them up. No parents, no grandparents, no siblings to ask what I should do. And my husband was no help either. I had friends but not the kind I could ask those kinds of questions. Alone. And I tried to handle it all. . alone. I didn't do a great job, but I could only do what I knew at the time, and that wasn't much. Where was Dr. Phil when I really needed him? (or the internet)

Alone. A husband that was there physically, but not emotionally. A husband who decided to give his love and time to another woman for a time. Another huge problem that I had to deal with alone. No parents or siblings to take my problems to, and I sure wasn't going to go to my husband's mother or sister.

The marriage died and we separated after 25 years. The kids were now out of school and working jobs. Alone. I finally found a full time job, and after 2 years I was in danger of losing that job, not because of anything I did wrong, but what would I do if I didn't have a job so I could afford rent, etc.? No one I could go to for help. Alone.

Then I met a man who became my husband and we eventually married. No longer alone. Oh, but after 15 years he died of pancreatic cancer. Alone. His daughter and family no longer kept in contact once he was gone and the estate settled. Alone.

My kids are scattered all over the country - Wisconsin, Virginia, Seattle, and the closest at Omaha is 160 miles away. I don't see them very often, and they aren't here when I need help. Alone. I seem to be destined to be alone.

But since I was an only child, I learned to entertain myself. I developed several hobbies. Actually too many hobbies! I like to read books and watch television. And now that I have a computer, I can reach out and contact many people that I had lost contact with, both friends and family. I have made new friends online and that is wonderful. But I am still alone. Do I mind being alone? Sort of, but not really.

And I am not really alone. God is here. He is with me all the time. He has taken care of me. I see that as I look back on my life. He has guided me even when I didn't ask for guidance. He has a plan for me and He has worked out my life to get me to where He wants me. It hasn't always been pleasant. It hasn't been easy. But now I can see why things happened to get me to this place. I have no doubt why I am at this place.

I was always concerned if I would have enough money to live if I was alone and unable to work. But God has taken care of me in every way. He has seen to it that I have had enough money to survive. He has even seen to it that I received sums of money from unexpected places and people. He saw to it that there was the perfect house available for rent just at the time I was forced to move, and at lower rent than any other place available in town. People in my church have helped in so many ways. Many men and women saw to it that I got moved which was amazing! There has always been someone ready to help when I asked, and some have even helped out in answer to a prayer that I had not even uttered yet! Yes, God takes care of His people. Don't ever doubt it.

That's my story, and I am sticking to it!